Lance and his cancer
I have noticed a bunch of people wearing those Lance Armstrong wristbands, the yellow ones that indicate that you have donated whatever it costs, and are supportive of his struggle and the search for a cure.

And it pisses me off. I realized that it goes back to the thing I was talking about regarding supporting the troops. Look how easy it is to support cancer now: you wear a trendy yellow wristband to indicate that you are "in the know" with respects to the Tour de France Champion and that you are "down with that struggle." THat's it.

Where are people's priorities? People around the world are dying because they don't have food or simple medicine. But no, they will only wear the wristband that supports the search for a cure sponsored by this super famous bicyclist that is psychopathic about winning the Tour de France every year. It's why his marriage fell apart. But people don't care, he "beat" cancer and in this society that means he is exempt of any wrongdoing. He is the polar opposite of Michael Jackson. And that's why we "support him."

Girls
Yes there are some beautiful girls on this campus, the whole city actually. But there's also something disturbing: a lot of these girls think they are super attractive simply because they are super skinny, and many of them look like they have a problem with food. Like they don't eat it. Really medically worrying girls, and it seems that it's supposed to mean "really attractive." It's sort of disturbing to see this much of it. Especially in the gym where it seems they might just sweat themselves away at some point pushing against that stairmaster.

Support our troops
What's the deal with this phrase? It pisses me off. So many people agree that yes indeed we should support our troops, but what does that mean? A bumper sticker? A flag waving on our cars? Simply saying it? Because that's all I really see in the way of support for the troops. No real sacrifice or effort. I'm sure good people are doing it somewhere but it's amazing how little of it you see when you consider that the whole country finally does agree on one thing, "support our troops." Do I support them? Yeah I guess. I don't want them to die. I don't want anyone to die. Does that fit in with the bumper sticker phrase? Who cares, just stop repeating it so much if all your doing is just that, repeating it.

Cellphones and Girls
So I was walking to class today and noticed everyone around me was walking and talking on their cellphones. Since I am now one of the undead I tried to figure out what
it was that made this such a "cool" thing to do. Everyone does it. I immediately vowed I would never do it. But I was curious. And my mind started to wander. Was it because they were thinking inside "oh look at me everyone, someone is talking to me. Oh you can't hear them - but they are talking, and it's to ME." Or was it more of a casual-vibe-seeking thing. you know, I feel more relaxed if I'm talking to someone while I walk and there are other people around but unable to hear what's going on? I wasn't sure, but I hated everyone anyways. Then I thought of a possible experiment I could do. I could call up this girl I just met and have never called before to see if it was the whole casual thing or if it was just the walking thing. I would call her up, tell her about my experiment, tell her how casual it felt - but only because I told her about said experiment. And she would laugh and think "geez, this guy is interesting (or a wacko)" And if you know me you know I talked my way out of doing it. So I did the next best thing, I picked up my cellphone and pretended someone was talking to me. I figured this would be just as good. A great experiment. I did it for about 20 seconds,

"Heyyyy what's up? Yeah. Right. Naw that's cool. Cool. Late."

What did I find out? That if you only pretend to be talking on a cellphone with no one on the other end, it feels as though everyone can see through you and know you're an idiot. Other than that most people don't even notice what everyone else is doing, nor do they care, since they are too busy talking to someone on their own cellphones...or are they...?


So then I wanted something else to criticize. I walked on and noticed how many attractive girls hang out around this campus area of DePaul. Coming back from their summers with their tans and their pretty faces and all. And it hit me, I've said it before but I said it to myself again, effort is very attractive. If you see a lot of effort it's attractive. And these girls ooze effort. The full body tans, the matching hair clip that goes with the light pink shorts, etc. The hair that took a LONG time to make it stay that way. The skinny waistline. The smooth skin. And so on. And then another idea hit me: If these girls put that effort into their studies, in the same amount and intensity I mean, the world would be a better, sexier place. Better because there would be some real geniuses out there, most of them women. Sexier because intelligence is sexy, right Andrew? And that's my take. But they still are above my criticism since anytime I see them I feel all tingly all over. Good job.

LOTS
OK so I've finally updated the About Me page. Big difference right? I know I'm lazy but that little note there pretty much explains it all. The only reason I've kept
that page is because it allows me to have a fourth picture on the homepage and I get to have people see that picture of me after my surgery - which I've grown quite
fond of.

I've finally started the Goldman book "The Long night of white chickens," after so much expectation. I'm loving it so far, and I have to thank Tollo for recommending it.
Books really are picked more by friend's recommendations than anything else I can think of. Since there is an infinite amount of books to read, you have to go with these
recommendations by people who presumably know whether or not you'll like it. In this case, Tollo gets an A. And I'm not even done with it! I think he's still reading Infinite
Jest, so I'm looking forward to hearing what he thinks of it. Hopefully I won't have failed him.

The digital scale at the gym finally shows me weighing over 170 pounds. It's about time. 180 here I come.

I bought my futon over the internet right, but there is a store right on my street (almost) that is called Futonz.com, which is the actual retailer of the online store where I
got my Futon. So I walked by the store today and I wanted to ask you know, when can I expect it, it's been a week now. I get to the store and peek in the window...it's empty.
Except for a black cat perched on the carpet near the window and another kitty near the back of the store - it's empty. So now I'm a bit worried. Have I been defrauded?
I guess I shouldn't worry since it's just coincidence that I got to actually see the store before I did my online purchase. I've never worried before. Hopefully I'll have a place
to sleep soon, althought he carpeted floor isn't as bad as one would think. It makes waking up easier since why would I want to stay on the floor any longer than I have to?

Classes so far are interesting. Not much to say there. I'll write something when there's something to write about.

If you believe in God then say a little prayer for my Cubbies, I'm not really on speaking terms with the Godmeister.

I got a stereo at Best Buy the other week. I got the Best Buy card since it would give me 10% off (the same goes with the Dominicks card, the GNC card, etc.). And there
was an option to enroll in some purchase protection thing, which I told the lady I did not want. She said ok. Then there was a hassle because I didn't have an IL state ID.
I gave my Guatemalan driver's license which basically means I have to wait 20 extra minutes until whoever is in charge figures out that yes that is a "valid" country and
this person does actually "exist." So they call up someone on the phone who is supposed to know whether or not I have good credit. By the way, I have impeccable credit.
I know I will get this card if it's based on my credit, not where I have a driver's license from. So she asks me some questions and "oh yes you got it!" Like it was even close.
1400 dollar credit on a card I will cancel after I pay for the stereo. Whatever (the stereo cost 130 bucks). So then she asks me to "also sign here." I look at where she is
pointing and it is the signature line under the "purchase protection" option. I tell here no I don't want that:

- But I don't want to sign up for that.
(rolls her eyes) - Yes but this isn't for that, it's just to process your card.
ME: But I've already signed twice, here and here, and this line is for this protection thing that I don't want, you see (I point).
HER: (heavy sigh) Let me try to explain it to you....(and she repeats what she said before)
ME: But why should I have to sign specifically there, where it says that I want to enroll in something that I don't want?

She then makes up a brand new reason for me to sign there (I felt like I was being Bushwacked): since I don't have an IL ID then she "made one up" and for that to go
through I have to sign for here there.

HER: See? You already circled NO where it asks if you want the protection thing, so you won't be enrolled.
ME: (noticing there is a signature line under the circled NO that confirms the NO) So shouldn't I sign here, where it says no, instead of under YES?

We went over this routine like some cruel joke or a novel about hell and the whole while I felt very uncomfortable. I didn't know if I was just being difficult or if she was
trying to scam me into it. She kept sighing and trying to "explain it to you again." Like I was an idiot or something. (which I'm not)

But I felt like I was ripping them off anyway since I was only signing up for the 10% off and so I finally wanted to get the hell out of there so I said OK I'll sign and did so.

She was nice about it all and we laughed at then end.

So yesterday in the mail I get a letter detailing the provisions of my AccountShield protection account. I was fuming. So today I went down there with every intention
of bitching someone out. Something I never do and eventually would wind up not doing. I walked in with the letter in hand and saw the same woman who had "scammed"
me. She immediately went "out back" somewhere. Don't know if she was just taking her break, getting a smoke, or if she jumped in her car, speeding away, or what.
Maybe she just ran off somewhere. Anyway, I talk to this other woman, and since it isn't her problem really, I try to explain it as simply as I can. Not being mean or anything. She looks at me blankly and goes "just call and cancel it."

Silence.

"OK. Thanks." And the idiot walks away. I hate bitching someone out when they're working at a job they really don't care about (and shouldn't), but where were my balls in this instance? I had the whole tirade planned out in my head and none of it came out. I walked away feeling like an idiot. I wanted someone to apologize. It could've been that after reading Nickel and Dimed it will be forever impossible for me to do anything like this unless it's a very extreme case, but still, it made me angry afterwards.

Always afterwards. What an idiot.

One day I'll bitch someone out good and it'll feel great. Then later I'll feel bad about it. Let's just hope he/she deserves it. Too bad it's so hard to make me angry for a long enough span of time where I actually follow through with my rage. Although that would be dangerous too... (and the rant goes on)

As I wrote that past story about the Best Buy card, I realized that when I read other blogs and read the kind of story I just wrote, I immediately think to myself "What a fucking complainer, get a life. Who the fuck cares about your Best Buy experience? How vain are you to think this is worth reading? So I think it's the last entry of it's sort I'll ever post. Sorry.

And the idiot ended up apologizing to everyone after all.

POWER
POWER is something we all want. I want it. You want it. Will we ever obtain it in a consistent manner? With hobbies? Sports? Jobs? It goes back to something in our nature, in our genes, in our blood. We try to adapt that drive into today's world. It's hard. But we chase after it. I am chasing.

Powell has some news for you.

Before Sunset
Just saw this sequel to one of the very few movies I really really like and it caused much the same feelings in me as the first one. The ending to the first one was maddening, so how do you top it? By giving a more or less ambiguous yet perfect ending to the sequel. At first I thought it was really tacky how the conversation just seemed to flow after years - I didn't like it and thought the movie was headed towards a dead end. But then later it all gets put together and makes sense.

Plus it all takes place in Paris this time and starts out at her "favorite bookstore in Paris" Shakespeare's and Co. So that was a pleasant treat. The themes running through the movie are of getting jaded with age and of second chances. Fate maybe.

It really makes you feel good to see a movie that is dialogue based be this good. No special effects or million dollar budgets. Paris, two characters, and talking. Oh and the cat.

Wish there were more out there like it.

Three and a half peanuts.

Oh and one thing she said that happened to her in Warsaw, she said that she didn't buy anything, didn't watch tv, just wrote and read and that it felt so liberating, so great. Even though it sounded boring to her telling the story. If you see the movie, that's what happened to me in Paris.

The Blind Swordsman
I went to see The Blind Swordsman the other day and here is my review of it:

A mixture of Crouching Tiger Hidden dragon (good), Stomp (hmmm, entertaining), and a cheesy kung fu movie (funny).

Weird mix I know, but it was still good.

Job Applications
After reading Nickel and Dimed, I figured that certain questions were asked to emplyers only at a specific socio-economic level. Yet after completing "Unicru tests" for Borders and Best Buy Applications I find the tests bizarre and have no idea what they could possibly tell potential employers about me.

Things like

- You don't like to take orders

How do you think I'm going to answer this? Strongly Agree? I don't think so. The problem with these tests is that they ask you (or attempt to find out) what kind of PERSON you are. Which is to imply that you are the same person when you are at work than when you aren't. Which is bullshit because that's not the way it works. If someone says something stupid or is being an asshole, I'm going to ignore them. If I'm working at Borders and a customer is being an ass well all I can do is be docile and try to help him or her as best I can. Why? Cause that's my job. I get paid to be a drone for 8 hours a day. That's the kind of job it is. To be a servant. You check all attitude and belief at the door. It sounds awful but that's the way I feel. Now, if it's a job where I am in a position of leadership and have a say in how the company or store is run, well that's different. But if you are going to work at the bottom rung of a corporation, then you have to realize that all you are is a simple servant...for 8 hours a day and that it has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on who you are for the other 16 hours.

I think this is why so many waitresses, flight attendants, and cashiers have such an attitude. They think that because I'm telling them what I want and expect them to do it that I believe them, as people, as who they really are, to be servants. Which I don't think, but when they are working - well yes I do believe that. you are getting paid to do it. Don't like it? Get another job, there are tons out there. But most of them probably involve the system that I'm talking about anyway.

Depressing
Just finished Nickel and Dimed (check out the Readings section) along with Fast Food Nation and I can't help but feel so depressed. Not just because of the guilt of "hey wow how can I complain when these people have it so bad", but also because I root for the underdog. I hate big companies that will squeeze every last bit out of their workers so that they can have a .000000001% increase in revenue. Once you have a ton of money, why do you need more and more?

It's really sad that this is the world we've built for ourselves. The system is broken and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Today I thought to myself, "why don't you get this worked up about poverty in guatemala, it's much worse that here."

Well yeah, but it isn't the poverty so much as the stubborness of people here to accept that millions of people are really going through hell everyday. That's it's not just "a bunch of lazy drunks" begging for change. The American Dream was just that guys, a DREAM, it doesn't exist. THe whole idea of "if you work hard you'll make it" is bullshit. WAKE UP

In Guatemala we know we're fucked up, we know it's all a big mess, we know it and don't try to deny the obvious.

But people that are well off here don't care.

Sad I tells ya